BrothelLife

Tolerance & Bullying

Offline KittiMinx

Tolerance & Bullying
« on: January 09, 2018, 11:29:20 PM »

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I know if Rachel said this it'd be brushed off because hey, it's her site, and it's a message she's been saying since she launched it. But I'm going to say it too.


This is a LPIN discussion board that is open to and welcoming of anyone and everyone interested in the subject matter to participate. Brothel staff (current and retired), Courtesans (current, retired, and potential/future/looking into), and of course Customers/Clients (current, retired, researching/potential, etc). Because this is a discussion board chances are someone is going to have a perspective you may not agree with. Part of why Rachel wanted BL to be a thing was to hop out of the endless looping echo chamber that other LPIN-related platforms have become.  This is the open internet. You're going to encounter people who say things you don't like/don't agree with. You can either debate using cited facts and logic to back up your claims in a respectful and dignified matter, or water off a duck's back - ignore it and move on to something else.


Just because you disagree with someone or they disagree with you doesn't warrant personal attacks, bullying, or any kind of harassment.  Us Ladies know when you customers see us act that way about other Ladies many of you think less of us and it could cost us your business. It can very well go both ways. We see you not handling things well between your opinions on things with another customer or even a Lady - many of us Ladies even if we work different houses talk to each other (and it being the open internet we can all see everything except what's in PMs) - so your treatment of others may potentially wind up costing you a party with a Courtesan you were interested in if she didn't like how she saw you treat another person or behave in general. No one likes a bully.


Also it's 2018. The world is changing. Cultures are shifting. Attitudes are changing. Every industry is going to be affected by this. Very few if any can exist in a bubble for much longer. Many of us younger individuals know you older folks grew up in a different time and participated in aspects of this industry when things were certain ways - no one is trying to take what you hold dear away from you. However, change is going to happen. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not this year. But things will happen. Some of your favorite places may have to close or change management. Courtesans come and go all the time. New business models may appear - including new types of Courtesans, services, and the kinds of audiences they attract.  Tolerance and respect is important. Most of us Courtesans try to be tolerant and respectful of your views - even if internally we disagree. Part of why Pricing Discussion was decided to be a no go on here was to be respectful and tolerant of this particular aspect of the business and how it varies so much for everyone. Overall for this industry to thrive and keep going and people to be happy - everyone's gotta embrace tolerance and show some respect.


I'd heard there are people who want to be on this forum and participate but won't because people on here have told them in a threatening manner not to join because of personal vendettas and that breaks my heart. Rachel did not do all this hard work for such bullshit. Keep your issues private and don't tell people they can't join and participate. If people join and do things that break the rules or cause problems, that's what mods and admins are for.  This forum exists to break out of the echo chamber hive mind and have there be informative discussions where at times differing points of view may be presented. If you can't handle that maybe internet forums aren't the place for you.


I've said my bit. Feel free to disagree. I don't care. It's just disheartening when my sister put so much work into making this happen only for people to feel excluded or not welcome because people on here with personal beef are trying to scare off people they don't like. Rachel didn't do all this for this to be some exclusive club - in fact it's supposed to be the opposite. If you respect Rachel and her wishes behind the creation of this platform, then you cut out any such attitudes and call it out when you see others displaying it. To anyone lurking who hasn't joined because of these reasons - this IS an open forum and you are welcome to join and participate. If you are harassed just report it and I'm sure Rachel will have it handled like the bad ass boss babe she is.


Peace.


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Offline Rachel Varga

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2018, 12:45:24 AM »
Well said Kitti. I could not have said that better myself. Thank you for your support.

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Offline SixT9er

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2018, 12:48:43 AM »
I find it very hard to believe members of this board are bullying people in order to keep them away from this board.


Are there people Iíd prefer werenít members? Hell yes? Would I ever in any way dissuade them from joining? Hell no! I donít like everyone and I know everyone doesnít like me, thatís called life in the real world. We all just move along, and if things get out of hand we get punished for it


I know thereís people out there who have chosen to not join this board and have said itís because they donít think theyíd be welcome here for whatever reason. That is their choice and their assumptions. If they donít have the balls to join and find out the truth thatís on them not the members of this community.


If Iím wrong and there truly are people here who are actively discouraging others from joining this board they should be ashamed of themselves.

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Offline FumbleNutts

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2018, 01:04:36 AM »
I've not heard about anyone bullying other's to keep them away from this board? Many of us have been encouraging people to join the board. Hell, I know of a lady giving out cards for those that come in to their establishment with the BL website on it to encourage them and broaden their knowledge of LPIN.

Yes, times change. Some things change for the better, other things, not so much.

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Offline KittiMinx

Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2018, 04:42:53 AM »
I have been told directly when talking to people about joining and encouraging them to that they've named names of individuals who had been harassing them and telling them to stay off. It is a problem. Hence why I addressed it. This board was created for everyone to feel welcome and safe. Those who have engaged in the behavior of trying to scare off people they don't want joining and participating absolutely should feel ashamed of themselves.

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Offline SixT9er

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2018, 11:11:28 AM »
Kitti,


Iím not saying you werenít told these things, sorry if I implied you werenít being truthful. I would just say you should look long and hard at those who are doing the accusing and who they are accusing? Whatís the history between them etc.
Believe it or not people make shit up or just let their imaginations run away with them to the point of believing what they imagined is true.

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Offline Dirk Diggler

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2018, 01:59:34 PM »
I agree that if that type of behavior has been going on then it is unacceptable and should stop immediately.
In fairness, I also think we shouldnít be quick to judge anyone unless evidence is provided to substantiate claims.
If someone is being narcissistic and attempting to bully people online then take screenshots and call them out on it. I obviously have no problem in doing that.
It matters naught to me if people I personally prefer or not are on this board. This board was created with a purpose and context and I trust that Rachel will moderate these boards fairly and equitably and correct myself or anyone else who crosses any boundaries.


Dirk

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Offline KittiMinx

Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2018, 02:16:53 PM »
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Kitti,


Iím not saying you werenít told these things, sorry if I implied you werenít being truthful. I would just say you should look long and hard at those who are doing the accusing and who they are accusing? Whatís the history between them etc.
Believe it or not people make shit up or just let their imaginations run away with them to the point of believing what they imagined is true.


I know people may do that but I was shown screenshots in confidence and the people who shared caps I doubt have the ability to Photoshop and edit that well. Some people have been behaving in ways that don't look great and I made this post to express that while that kind of behavior may have been tolerated and swept under the rug on other platforms, it won't on here.  Bullying / Harassing someone for having a differing opinion is just unacceptable regardless of who it is. That's all there is to it. Another reason people are hesitant to join is they do think it will just turn into a SIN 2.0 and the toxic attitudes and behaviors many left to get away from will start to brew on here and not be properly handled. Posts like this properly assure from the get go, that this is a different place where everyone is welcome and toxic BS will not be tolerated.

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Offline KittiMinx

Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2018, 02:22:24 PM »
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Well said Kitti. I could not have said that better myself. Thank you for your support.


This board doesn't have to be a fluffy hug box full of rainbows and sunshine like house boards but it doesn't mean we're going to put up with toxic crap that people got away with on SIN. Balance is important. There is such a thing as a middle ground and we both know it's important to make sure that is well established.

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Offline SixT9er

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2018, 03:37:01 PM »
So I have to admit this whole thing blows my mind.


First thereís people on the board that are harassing people (in what way I donít know) with the sole purpose of keeping them off this board.
Then the people who are receiving this harassment are actually letting them win by not joining and also not informing (Apparently) Rachel about this problem so she can put an end to it because she wants the board to grow and it canít if people are running off potential posters.
Then they come to Kitti with this issue that she really has no control over?!?


Wow!


I guess itís impossible to have people act like adults on a message board thatís only purpose is to have fun and provide a place for clients and Courtesans to interact.


Sad...

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Offline KittiMinx

Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2018, 04:54:02 PM »
People come to me because they see I'm available to talk to (I'm not at the Ranch currently so I have fairly regular internet access) and I have direct contact to Rachel about things. Rachel gave me the go ahead to make this post because I showed her what was going on, and like I said in the OP if she made this post herself more people would brush it off as her just continuing to repeat herself to promote this site. Whereas if it came from me - I have no Admin powers or any of that, I just care - people might be more inclined to pay attention.

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Offline Rachel Varga

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2018, 08:21:08 AM »
There are some members that are also SIN members and have joined to just look around. Even one of their mods is on here. So you could have pro-SIN members stirring up shit. If I find out and have definite proof I will deal with it. I promise you that. BrothelLife is not going anywhere. People can stir up as much stuff as they want, it is not going away. Even if I leave LPIN I plan to keep this board up indefinitely.

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Offline Sable Renae

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2018, 01:26:46 AM »
THank you Guys. I will be honest I shyed away from the SIN Board for a long time . Mainly due to an incident that happened that frankly was not in my control. I really didin't want to get into a confrontation with anyone. I like the conversations I am seeing here and I agree, even if I don't like someones viewpoint I don't have the right to bully them into leaving. I am always open to having my mind changed but only when it is in an open and honest exchange of information folks are always welocome to agree to disagree

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Offline Chicagobob

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2018, 06:41:47 AM »
In the words of the late Ronald Reagan: "We can disagree without being disagreeable"  ;D


General Patton once said that if everybody is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking!   :o


... and in addition, I still think Kitti has a really nice ass!   :P


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Offline FumbleNutts

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Re: Tolerance & Bullying
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2018, 10:45:10 AM »
It would be real sad for someone to bully another over a board on the internet!?!? That's something everyone should agree upon, or there's something wrong in the noggin....

I agree with you too, CB! Oh that booty on Kitti  :P

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