BrothelLife

To quote TheMighty Peanut, from elsewhere:

"I used to work at a grocery store bakery and one day the bread slicer went down. You should have seen the fits people threw. They couldn’t walk four feet to the side and get the prepackaged, presliced organic bread. It had to be the bread made that morning, and it had to be sliced extra thin OR ELSE. I’ll never forget the lady who asked me how to slice bread. I said “...with a knife?” and literally wondered if I was having a dream. Then of course they wanted the one person working to drop everything and spend god knows how much time trying to manually slice giant loaves of bread (extra thin!) while a line forms and gripes about what huge idiots we are."

She  recommended, as a substitute for a broken bread slicer, a knife.

I recommend a band saw.

For these desperate shoppers, what do you recommend?

I recommend a nice 181 Husky Chain saw with a full comp chain .. I also recommend only people over the age of 21 use it .. Experienced preferred on this ..

Reco: Psychiatrist

I use a battery powered reciprocating  saw to cut up hogs so it might work on bread. ;D

That job would have been so much more fun if I could’ve used chainsaws.

Sounds like a job for piano wire if you can get your hands on it ;D

Use a samurai sword like John Belushi used to do at Samurai Delicatessen