BrothelLife

There’s been plenty of reports about the weekend events at the LPIN awards this year, but we are here to “dish the ish”, pulling the curtain back and provide the TMZ style reporting to reveal the “real” scandal that occurred. [/size]

• First, the boring stuff.  COY (Roxy), Brothel of the Year (Mustang) & Rural Brothel of the year (Dovetail) were all extremely deserving and gracious winners and although all other finalists were equally deserving - they handled the winner announcement with the type of grace and class that puts any real paparazzi reporter out of work.  Congratulations to all finalists and especially to the winners.  [/size]
• The scandal couldn’t couldn’t be avoided entirely however as the very next event was the Hawaiian shirt contest.  10-12 shirts competed, each one with a certain style and starch that was deserving of the honor of the award “Best Hawaiian shirt”.  This would have been a nearly impossible vote, had the playing field been even - however one shirt completely abused the rules, and swayed the judges with what some whispered “unfair influencing”.  PROPS WERE USED by one shirt where others hadn’t done the work to present themselves with the use of props.  A quick check by the rules committee seemed to be done, but finding no rules existed regarding the use of props, they were allowed, EVEN IN THE FINAL ROUND!  Breaking out the bright lights as well as the grand finale “ALOHA” sign resulted in a landslide winner.  While all other shirts handled the winner announcement with the amusement that the event was intended, this type of showmanship and fun is clearly a GROSS MISCARRIAGE of rules manipulation and a need for winner term limits in the future has already been implemented![/size]
• [/size]As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Jagged awards were next and again SCANDAL ROCKED THE EVENT!  In an industry of constant debate over when does the clock start, these awards were allotted a 30 minute window to satisfy everyone's enjoyment.  While the awards were extremely entertaining, most winners deserving (except the one presented to that odd couple hiding in the back) and the official timekeeper revealed Jagged had finished in 28 minutes, a review of the tape shows that Jagged had clearly been on the podium for a full 4 minutes BEFORE starting the clock - meaning he had in effect exceeded his time by 2 full minutes…… WITHOUT BEING CHARGED!  Now clearly, in an industry where time and clock watching is so important, THIS is a situation that can not be allowed.  At some places, with a going rate of $3000/hr, that 2 minutes would have costed an additional $100!  This is clearly a breach of rules that we urge the  committee to implements a fine of at minimum a double batch of jagged chips next year! [/size]
• [/size]And, the biggest scandal, the largest controversy of the year whispered by some (after recovering from an amazing party with Ms. Lexie James) was about how UN-AMERICAN these awards are!  Not unAmerican in the traditional sense, but more so in what social media and modern media reporting would like you to believe about our country.  In a time when every media report or social media post seems to be about how polorazing our country is becoming, the LPIN awards filled a room of people ranging in age gaps that spanned 40+ years, male/female with suredly multiple types of sexual preferences, races ranging from black to white (apologize if these terms aren’t up to date with modern PC) with everything in between.  Differences in socioeconomic statuses, marital status, geographic locations, and education levels were prevalent throughout the event…… and NO ONE CARED!  We were new, naive, nervous, a minority in MANY senses of the event, and not one person showed us anything but politeness and class.  As one fantastic and extremely respected female patron was heard to say at the picnic: “There’s probably nothing else in the world that would bring THIS group of people together” …. But here they were, getting along with respect, appreciation, caring and in some cases friendship, despite their differences.  Now, if that isn’t enough to crush what some would like you to believe is going on in our country, we don’t know what is! [/size]

[/size]This ridiculous report is our way of saying THANK YOU to everyone that was there last weekend, as well as everyone that wasn’t but makes this world so wonderful.  We continue to be amazed about this industry and how absolutely fantastic everyone is.  We’d love to give a special shout out to the people that were so kind and wonderful to us, but it would make an already to long post even longer as there were just so many. [/size]We will close then with a special shout out to Ms. Lexie James.  Report will follow, but if you have a chance to get ot LRN to see her before she leaves, you owe it to yourself to do so! [/size]

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I’m very happy you made it and had a Great time!

Yea, very scandalous! I think the only way to follow up with these awards’ level of gross turpitude and disparagement is to do it again next year, and for you to attend again, perhaps with front row seats! LOL Thanks again for coming, it was a blast to get to know you!

My princess. I’m glad you had a great time. Hope to see you next year. Scandalous scandalous scandalous but it was the best banquet I’ve been to yet. We all had fun and laughed all the way through. Hope to have more surprises in the near future banquets
XO Vanity

Great to meet you Midwest Couple, hope to see you both C*MC 23, Armond

Great to finally meet you both in person!


Good observations and good words, but don't you know we at the LPIN boards never engage in controversy. Oh I almost forgot, it's oK on this board. Viva RachelVarga !


Hey glad y'all had a great time! See you in the future!