Joke of the Day

[firefighter]

A little girl and little boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true and runs home crying. A while later she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her panties and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

[Cobia]

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[Cobia]

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[firefighter]

Talking Dog For Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods of Colorado and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty style house that reads, 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Chocolate Labrador Retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar...  he's never been out of the yard!'

[Cobia]

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[Chicagobob]

I don't mind if a lady wears a watch during a party...
I don't even mind if she looks at it during a party...
But I do mind if she keeps shaking it to see if it's working!

[Cobia]

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[Mikey]

A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT


PreviousNext[/size]A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.[/size][/size]
[/size]When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.[/size]
[/size]His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''[/size]
[/size]''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.[/size]
[/size]''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.[/size]
[/size]''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''[/size]

[Chicagobob]

A really shy newlywed girl had a hard time telling her new husband that she wanted to have sex. So they made up a name for it called "doing the laundry". One night hubby rolled over and whispered in her ear "hey honey do you want to do the laundry?"


She told him "no honey not tonight".  After laying there awake for about 30 minutes she begin to feel guilty and leaned over and said "honey I'm ready to do the laundry".


Hubby replied " it's okay it was only a small load and I did it by hand".

[Cobia]

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[Cobia]

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[Mikey]

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room. The rich lady approaches the butler and requests that he remove her dress, so the butler removes her dress. She then asks the butler to remove her bra, which he does. She then asks him to remove her panties and he this this also. The lady then tells the butler never to dress in her clothes again.

[firefighter]

"A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race.  A woman only needs to be available!" ~ Masters and Johnson 

[Cobia]

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[Mikey]

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

[Cobia]

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