The curse of the dick

[Lee]

Would you like to take a 'Nevada bet' on whether or not our beloved moderator lets this drunkass post stay up or removes it? It's a suck-ass saturday night here. Brothels are closed. Bars are paranoia holes to the extent they let anyone in. Friends are all gone. This bottle of Menage-a-trois is all I have to rescue my sanity. I want another bottle. If I had a vagina, people would flock around me and have conversation and drinks together and/or penises sliding in and out of me (and the possibility of income instead of outgo just to hope to say 'hello'). Being cursed with a dick however puts me out to a life of labor and separation from the women I want, need, and desire to love.

So what would a reasonable person do??? WATCH PORN!!! There's a short clip I found that's 'Lee approved' It's hilarious. Go to Xhamster.com and type in - funny stuff  There's a 20min one that should pop up and it's a waste of time. The 2min one is good. It's the 6:01 one that is hilarious. Stick with it past the 2nd and 4th scene and it gets better. The drone scene is awwwesome - what a landing! Pool anyone? 8ball in the corner pocket! Nice restaurant, huh? Yea I'd order seconds! How about that Lady with the dragon dildo? Just a little more lube please! See the doggie run under the bed? It actually happened to me once as I was partying with a Lady! Ask me in person sometime  ;D 

The vid with the big dick Halloween costume on the front reminds me of a show I went to in Las Vegas a few years ago. A big 10ft dick with 3 or 4ft high balls rolled out to the front of the stage and blew a confetti cum load all over the audience. The women were jumping out of their seats to grab the confetti!!! Souvenirs I suppose  ;D

You go girl! (Lady) you breed those men by the dozens and hundreds - You're my kinda Lady!! 

[Funmonger]

So you are saying your dick is cursed? I'd recommend different substance. Whatever you are on seems to be exaserbating (not masterbating) your problem.